I learn from you each day.
When you were just a spirit baby, a soaring soul in search of a place to settle; long before you were growing inside me or I held you in my arms, I was learning. I learned patience, tenacity, faith and humility; how to give over and never give up; when to let go and when to hold on for dear life. Today, as I sit watching you nestled and cozy, I continue learning. With each moment and each day that we share I learn from you.
There are many lessons to come I am sure – but today is about Today; about being present, in the moment. It’s something I believe in with my entire heart. Yet it is also a challenge for me, a person always planning what needs to get done or anticipating what is yet to come.
Of course, that was the great laugh when you decided to arrive 5 weeks early! Despite planning and organizing , you arrived to teach me in a real and immediateway that life will happen and timing, well that is something we rarely have control of. I understand from you that time is not a renewable resource. We cannot manufacturer it or put it in the bank to draw on at a later date. But, we can TAKE time today and we must be present in that moment; or miss it forever. So, as Gandalf said in the Lord of the Rings – “All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”
And this, my little man – is the most amazing lesson you have taught me so far. How to be present and spend this time that is given us. I notice your eyelashes as they change; drink in your smile that is just now beginning to show; hold your hand that is unclenching from your intense newborn fists. I snuggle and breathe you in; holding that breath for a moment in my heart. I am reminded to stay present by the way you become restless when I get distracted.
I look at the calendar and realize that almost ten weeks have come and gone since you arrived on this planet! I panic – oh my! In rushes my anxiety about time – time that passes – too much time – not enough time; time wasted – time well spent; the wrong time and the right time … which really is now – in this moment – because this is where we are. A friend gifted me a book for my birthday two weeks ago – “Wherever you go there you are” by Jon Kabat-Zinn – which tells of paying attention – being mindful – being present.
The timing of this book could not have been more perfect! It’s like the study guide for the real life lesson you are providing me. Thank you for this lesson – and the many more that I am sure you will show me along the way.